The power of forgetting.

I found myself sorting through my "Carrie box" while home over Christmas (my childhood bedroom no longer exists in its previous form, but I do still have a little space in the closet), and smiled a little at some of the things that were saved... certificates and diplomas of course, a few school projects, a throw pillow that I sewed as a youth, a poster of bald eagles (really?).   I felt oddly sentimental about my old orange and white teddy bear. And the old yearbooks and memories of old friends.  Though Suzie from math and youth conference really should have signed her last name, because while she "will never forget the memories", I'm having a hard time remembering.

It made me think of one of the episodes of "This American Life" from a couple years ago, about school picture day in high school:

"What Sydney's picture doesn't show is the decisions that are weighing on her. She's deciding right now if she wants to take the really hard advanced placement classes, or get more involved in sports, or maybe art. She's just old enough to choose who she'll be for the very first time, and feels like there'll be consequences."

I remember that feeling.  I mean, this would be my LIFE.

Ira Glass then asks her, "Someday when you're older, do you think when you look back on your high school years you'll remember these choices that seem so significant now?" Unlike most of the other kids, she says no. She can't remember most of her life up until then, so why would it be different in the future? "Where has time gone?" she asks.

Where indeed, Sydney.  My mom was asking me what some of my old friends were up to, and I'll admit I had to do a little Facebook stalking to come up with some of the answers. We've all grown up, moved on, and outside of a few weddings I haven't seen much of some of them in the last decade.

I had a friend who used to be really opposed to Facebook. "If I lost touch with someone after high school, there was probably a reason," she'd say.  While that may be true, I sent some emails to people I haven't talked to in at least 10 years. High school may not have ended up defining the course of my whole life, and I'm really glad that I've changed a bit since then... but it was a real part of the life that has turned me into the person I am now, and it was nice to refresh some of those memories for a little bit, anyway.