Turns out being a grown-up could be overrated.

Adulthood seems so great when you first start doing it. Living on your own, making your own decisions. Exciting! Fun! Adventures!

I could go to bed at 2am if I want (hah!), or 9:30pm. (Or let's face it, 8:30pm if I'm feeling really crazy.)  M&M's for dinner? Sure. Vacations to the other side of the world on short notice? Check.  Sleep on the couch because you just washed your sheets but didn't plan enough time to dry them before you needed to go to bed? Done it. And now I'm even adult enough to have a guest bedroom as back-up!  (Oh yep, done it.)
Psst. Please don't look in my bedroom right now and judge me, with the covers piled up on the middle of the bed next to a neatly folded pile of sheets, unmade. I just really hate making the bed, okay? That's part of the grown-up stuff that's not so fun. All the chores you especially hate are yours. 

Know what you don't quite get right away? Being a grown-up IS great, for much more substantive reasons than that.  But it's hard, and frequently uncomfortable.

I think I've mentioned before that it's been a really stressful year or so, mostly because of work. I feel like I'm in that awkward growing pains phase in life where I'm inexperienced enough to still be making a lot of mistakes, but experienced enough that I'm the one on the hook for them now… I'm not anyone's student or fellow anymore. I'm supposed to be learning how to be the one in charge.  (I'm finding this feeling is true for a lot of people at this stage in our lives, whether it be early in careers or marriage or parenting.)

Want to know what's really hard? Learning how to do it gracefully, not getting defensive or aggressive, learning when to stand your ground or when to take the hits and do what needs to be done, even in the times when it's not your fault. I've seen some really good examples of that in the last year, and some really bad ones. Lucky for me, I have a wonderful supervisor who happens to be one of the really good examples.

On the upside, a working group conference call that has felt to border on verbal abuse in recent weeks was actually pleasant today. It might be a breakthrough.

In the meantime, it makes a difference when you have people in your life who are in your corner.
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