I am Liz Lemon.

For those who watch 30 Rock, there are a fair number of Liz Lemon moments to which I can (often unfortunately) relate. Some highlights?

• Fashion:

Jack: Alfredo. 2 p.m.
Liz: I'm not dressed for that.
Jack: You're dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?

• Relationships:

Liz: I just wish I could start a relationship about twelve years in, when you really don't have to try anymore, and you can just sit around together and goof on TV shows, and then go to bed without anybody trying any funny business.

• The to-do list:

Jack: Uh Lemon, I'm going through the guest list for my 50th birthday party and you have not RSVP-ed.

Liz: Oh, right, sorry, my mail has been piling up and I keep forgetting to buy toilet paper.
Jack: What's that supposed to mean?

• Dating:

The Head: I see you're lookin' at my watch.
Liz: What?
The Head: It's cool, isn't it? That's a Japanese pie watch.
Liz: Oh, okay.
The Head: It tells time with those little pie pieces. Each piece is six minutes, so right now it's... six times four... 5:30? That can't be right.
Liz: My watch has these little hands that go around and point at numbers.
The Head: Hey, that's awesome possum.

The latest? I decided I really needed to get my hair cut today. That turned out to be a poor decision. Remember this episode?

Good thing I'm going on vacation for a week. And that hair grows. Unfortunately, not enough in one week.

Liz: "This is how I cry now!"